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Week 2 Eating Disorder Recovery Update (Sam)

How It Went

Art with colourful paper strips forming the shape of a butterfly
Finished Uniquilling butterfly paper filigree painting

This week felt smoother and calmer than last week since I am getting used to our schedule which was mostly the same as last week's. This included 3 meals and 3 snacks, yoga and meditation in the morning followed by listening to eating disorder recovery videos and podcasts, planning in the afternoon, and free time in the evening. Although, there are a couple of minor changes. I will now see my psychotherapist weekly instead of biweekly, and I started an online course at university. I also finished my paper filigree painting and am on to the next project.



A close up picture of various pieces of sushi in plastic containers arranged on a picnic table
Sushi at the park

A few events happened this week. Mom and I went on a shopping trip early in the week and we had sushi for lunch again. It didn’t go as planned. Changes to plans are stressful for me but I trusted my mom to sort it out. We ended up getting takeout for lunch and sitting at a park on a beautiful sunny day which was worth it. To finish the day, we had our favourite Purdy’s chocolates. The lessons of the day were: it's okay to have your favorite foods repeatedly and it’s okay if everything doesn’t go to plan. Things usually have a weird way of working out in the end, and the result can sometimes be better than expected. Next, we scheduled an appointment with a dietitian for the beginning of next week. Finally, mom decided to take me off the waitlist for inpatient treatment. I know this was supposed to be my decision to make, but I struggle with most decisions and this was a hard one. I still don’t know how I feel about it.

A landscape picture of a park on a sunny summer day. There is a field of grass with trees interspersed throughout and a path arching through the center with a gazebo on the left.
A beautiful sunny day at the park

A bowl of almond granola cereal with milk and a spoon
Fear food: some not so scary cereal

There wasn’t too much change to food this week. We are waiting for the input of the dietitian before we make any major changes to my meal plan. I did continue to challenge jam as a fear food. I also tried cereal for breakfast once. It was kind of … disappointing. The type we chose had no added sugar and was not as scary as I thought it was going to be. It was easier than expected.





How I Feel

A plate with a piece of toast cut in half and spread with strawberry jam, a mug containing a light reddish coloured fruit smoothie
Fear food: toast with jam and a fruit smoothie

Physically, I feel very full most of the time but it’s not as bad as last week. I also feel stiff from sitting around most of the day, like I need to move around more. Mentally, I don’t feel good. I feel tired and the negative thoughts in my head are constant and loud. Hopefully that will improve with time as I recover and learn how to cope better. In terms of recovery, I don’t feel completely committed. I still feel like I need the eating disorder to survive and am scared to change, but I want to stop causing so much distress to my family, friends, and doctors. I will obviously continue on the path of recovery but at this point I would not be able to do it without support. And I think that's okay right now, as long as I continue to take the next steps forward.




Head shot of a black and white tabby cat sitting outside beside a person's legs on the grass with tree in the background
Sparkly spending time with me outside

Current Goals

  • Meet with the dietitian and alter my meal plan accordingly

  • Continue to trust others with my recovery and to be open with how I feel.


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