Week 7 Eating Disorder Recovery Update

Goals/Activities

• Dietitian appointment

• Thanksgiving dinner

• Review

  • ACT worksheets

  • Recognizing thoughts and feelings

  • Building positive thinking skills

• Cooking/Baking (Baking to replenish snacks and cooking to use leftover turkey)

Dietitian

It started off very early in the morning with a few emails with our dietitian. We both have had a busy week and a busy Monday planned, so we cancelled our appointment. Monday was our Thanksgiving dinner. We changed our meal plan for the first few days by incorporating Thanksgiving dinner and our yummy leftovers into it.

Mornings

We are still doing yoga and meditation after breakfast. I enjoy this part of the day and I’m pretty sure Sam does too. On Monday, for Thanksgiving we did a meditation from Declutter the Mind on gratitude (10 Minute Guided Morning Meditation for Gratitude). Also, we have found another valuable online source of meditations from MindfulPeace. Another enjoyable part of our morning is our view. With the change of season the maple trees this year have been spectacular and we get to watch them change from our living room.

View from living room

Review

There are a few purposes for yoga and meditation. Yoga helps us clear our minds of thoughts and focus on the present and gives us the opportunity to set an intention for the day. Guided meditation focuses on being mindful of your thoughts, recognizing them and giving them space. Meditation also encourages positive thinking. With anorexia nervosa there is an eating disorder (ED) voice in your mind where thoughts are loud, negative, unpleasant and untrue. In my opinion from the research and literature I have read, it is important to recognize these thoughts as being part of your eating disorder,, categorize them, name them, and distance them. Besides the ED voice Sam also has an autistic voice. The autistic voice has some of the same traits as the ED voice, but this voice can create a lot of anxiety and it needs to be accepted and quieted by putting in place methods to reduce their effect, especially when she is outside the house. Once that is all done her true self can start to shine through.

Part of Sam’s homework was to write down her thoughts in the morning and evening as well as to write down what she is grateful for. We reviewed her journal. First thing I noticed is that what she is grateful for is basically the same everyday. This was not what I was expecting but I think it is because of her autistic traits. Her traits of liking routine, sameness and she doesn't like change. The other observation is that her ED voice is very present. It is a nasty self-hating voice. A voice that being a parent you just want to wave a magic wand and have them disappear. Unfortunately I can not do that, so step 2 with this exercise is for Sam to continue to recognize these thoughts and depersonalize them by reword them. I also talked with Sam about what she could be grateful for and have challenged her to write down something different everyday.

How I feel

Now a bit on how I am doing. As a caregiver and co-ordinator of our team at times I feel frustrated, guilty, sad, disappointed, stressed, and overwhelmed. Small things such as Sam not completing a meal, an unexpected bill, or not taking the time to take care of myself can set me off. I have joined a forum dedicated to parents and caregivers of patients with eating disorders. I haven’t posted to this forum yet but reading posts from others puts our journey into perspective. Many caregivers like me struggle with challenges and reach out. The responses from this community offer suggestions, compassion, and support. Reading about the journey of others helps calm me down and to understand what a complicated horrible disease an eating disorder is. There are many challenges including stuck moments and regression. It is all part of the long journey to recovery. One step at a time. I also look at the good side of this eating disorder. There is always something good that comes out of our struggles. For us, it is a time to reset, to spend time together, to have compassion for each other, and to discover the autistic traits that affect Sam everyday. It is time to look at strategies to reduce Sam’s everyday anxiety and to have hope that one day she can feel comfortable enough to use her voice outside of her home.

Cooking/Baking

We haven’t tackled a lot of Sam’s fear

foods yet which does limit us on what she will eat. This means many hours in the kitchen. This week Sam made pineapple muffins for her morning snack. Then it was my turn using the leftover turkey for some turkey pot pies. A lot of the ingredients in these pies are on Sam’s fear food list, but I do know when I made them in the past she enjoyed them. The following day we split one for lunch. The pies are a bit large for one meal and a bit small to only eat half, but as I knew this meal was a challenge, all that I asked of Sam was to eat half. I knew her ED voice would have been very loud and anxiety high when she faced this lunch. I am very happy to report that she completed her meal. I will take this meal as a win and a step forward.

View from kitchen window

Week 8 Goals

• Dietitian appointment

• Practice

  • ACT worksheets

  • Recognizing thoughts and feelings

  • Building positive thinking skills

• Weight in

• Open house event

• Day on her own